urn on the television or radio and you are guaranteed to be assaulted by negative headlines. Sign into Facebook and you will sometimes come face-to-face with the most negative sides of your friends’ personalities. I often find myself fighting back negative words in response to what is seeping into my being through my eyes and ears. Even when I manage to hold back the words, I feel the negative thoughts coming to a high simmer on the way to a full boil. Even our children are not immune to the disease of negativity that they face each day. The National Institute of Health reported that over 3 million U.S. adolescents suffered from at least one major depressive incident in 2015 alone. Negativity not only causes us to feel bad; it also impairs our success in life, our well-being, and our joy.

There is Good News

Even amidst all the negative chaos that swirls about us, there is good news. The good news is this: While people and events may threaten to influence your positivity, only YOU control it! That, my friends, is a powerful message! You control what influences you! You are the gatekeeper who controls who and what has access to your thinking. Even if you let your guard down and let something negative inside, you can control how it shapes you.

Maya Angelou, the highly acclaimed poet, writer, and human being was successful due in large part to her positive outlook on life. She did not tolerate negativity in her presence. She once told the story about inviting guests into her home. During the visit, one of the guests repeatedly spewed negative and demeaning comments about other people. Maya Angelou immediately invited her guest to leave and escorted him to the front door. When asked why she took such a drastic stand, she replied, “I’m convinced that the negative has power. It lives. And if you allow it to perch in your house, in your mind, in your life, it can take you over. So, when the rude or cruel thing is said—the lambasting, the gay bashing, the hate—I say, ‘Take it all out of my house!’ Those negative words climb into the woodwork and into the furniture, and the next thing you know they’ll be on my skin.”

Guard and protect yourself from the negative. Negativity can have a powerful influence on you. Even when we try to control who can influence us, we can accidentally let negativity into our lives. But there is more good news! When this happens, you retain the ability to decide how negativity changes or influences your thinking. You can let it make you negative or you can cast it out and remain positive, healthy, and whole.

Maybe Maya Angelou Can Do That, But Can I?

Maya Angelou understood the good news. She understood that she could control who had access to influence her thinking and how that influence, in turn, would shape her life and her future. We, too, can protect our thoughts from negativity. While negativity can destroy us, positive, affirming, and life-giving thoughts can form powerful actions, habits, character, and destiny. I have identified 5 key steps that will help you squash the negative and stay positive, powerful, and forward moving:

1. Recognize the power of your environment. Like Maya Angelou stated, negativity can climb into the woodwork, into the furniture, and get on your skin. It can creep in and have profoundly negative effects on you. Do not be afraid or ashamed to be selective about who and what is allowed to enter. I am not arguing that you should not be a friend to imperfect people because we are all imperfect. However, you may set clear boundaries. Likewise, look for healthy people, environments, and ideas that will positively shape your thinking such as a church, friends, and empowering books and music.

2. Watch out for distorted thinking. When negativity seeps inside our minds, it sometimes shows up as distorted thinking. Distorted thoughts are thinking processes that are flawed, inaccurate, or untrue.  Dr. David Burns articulated some common examples of distorted thinking:

• Catastrophizing – We make situations out to be worse than they truly are.
• All or Nothing Thinking – We only see situations or options in their extreme states. We do not see other, more realistic options.
• Over-use of “Should” Statements – When we use the word ‘should’ with ourselves or others, we are passing judgment; often, it is negative judgment. I have a friend that sometimes must tell himself, “Stop should-ing on yourself.”
• Overgeneralizing – We overstate the frequency or intensity of events or other phenomenon. For example, I may say to myself, “Nobody respects my work.” It is probably not true that nobody respects my work. That is an overgeneralization.
• Thinking Filters – Automatically thinking (often negatively) about situations; that is, applying negative filters to our perception of events, people, or situations.
• Jumping to Conclusions – Coming to premature conclusions without adequate evidence to support the conclusion.

3. Reshape your distorted thinking. When you notice distorted thinking occurring, you can reshape your thinking by pausing and asking yourself some very simple questions:

• Am I jumping to a conclusion prematurely? What other evidence do I need to see before I decide what is truly happening?
• Is that an accurate thought about this situation (or this person)?
• What is a more effective and useful way to think about this situation?
• What evidence do I have that this is happening? Could there be another explanation?
• What filters could be shaping the way I’m thinking about this situation? What would I be thinking about this situation if I removed the filters?

4. Use the ‘power of the pause’. When you feel negative thoughts creep into your mind, before they turn into actions hit what Dr. Chris Johnson calls ‘the pause’. Take some time away. Go for a walk. Read a positive story or scripture. Talk to a friend. Come back to the issue later when you can think more clearly and accurately.

5. Be thankful. In his book, “The School of Greatness,” Lewis Howes reminds us that having an ‘attitude of gratitude’ can change our thinking. Consider keeping a ‘Thanksgiving Journal’ in which your write down a daily list of things, people, and events that you are thankful for. When you need to hit the ‘pause button,’ review your ‘Thanksgiving Journal.’

My friend, your purpose and destiny are far too important to allow negativity to short circuit it. Guard your thinking. Your thinking is a powerful predictor of the rest of your life. The words of Lao Tzu say it well:

Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Assess your thoughts. Challenge your thinking. Live in Joy. And be a positive influence so others can do the same.